For some au pairs in Germany, a dream job became a nightmare

For some au pairs in Germany, a dream job has turned into a nightmare

For a young person who wants to see the world, the offer may sound tempting: Go to Germany, take care of the children and live with a nice family. It can be the first step to learning a new language, studying and starting life as an independent adult. It works for many. But not for everyone. Ana da Silva from Brazil found this out for herself. After only a few months in Germany, she told DW that she was working far more than the agreed 30 hours a week.

Da Silva, whose name has been changed to protect her privacy, spent her days as a cleaner rather than a nanny. Her food was rationed, she said, sometimes amounting to just a piece of bread. Her complaints were met with threats. "I was with five families, one worse than the other," da Silva said, comparing her experience to slavery. "Germany has no idea what's going on here with au pairs. It's crazy. As an au pair, no one will help you."

Photos and text messages reviewed by DW support da Silva's allegations. They also fit a pattern that turns the "au pair," in the French sense of mutual benefit, into an abuse of power by those who employ young helpers.

The exception or the rule?

"This is clearly unacceptable and violates the terms of use that all families and au pairs agree to when registering to use the platform," the online agency that looked after da Silva told DW. Her experiences represent only a "fraction" of experiences, the agency added. Au pair contracts limit work to 30 hours per week and allow one and a half days off. The au pair receives €280 (US$304) each month for expenses and an additional €70 for German courses. These rules are often ignored, au pair advocates say – a thorn in the side of over-the-top au pair agencies.

"Our agencies always insist that the focus of working time is childcare and that housework is done together with the family," Cordula Walter-Bolhöfer, who works at the Gütegemeinschaft Au Pair, an umbrella organization representing 30 of Germany's 100 au pair agencies. "Au pairs are not meant to be cheap household help," she added.

One source of abuse is the lack of licenses. Since 2002, au pair agencies only need a trade license to operate, without additional certification. Other potential au pairs connect with host families through social media or so-called "matchmaking" platforms where there is little control.

"For example, when they see photos of nice families with nice children on Facebook, many believe it to be true," said Walter-Bolhöfer. When problems arise in these cases, au pairs have no contact person. That's when someone like Susanne Flegel steps in. For more than 17 years, he has been running the agency and helping au pairs in trouble.

"There were times when we had several phone calls a day. Politicians say these are isolated cases. But they are not isolated cases," she told DW. "When we ask different au pairs, they say that exploitation is common." Statistics are hard to come by as none are officially recorded. Agencies have a financial incentive to make au pair connections, earning between 200 and 1,000 euros per au pair placement, Flegel said. "There are also real criminal agencies in Germany because they are not controlled. Even the host families themselves can be cheated," she added.

In the Netherlands, agencies can be fined

The problem is not limited to Germany. Across the border in the Netherlands, authorities restored licensing and accountability 10 years ago. An agency that violates the rules can face heavy fines. Flegel and other au pair advocates would also like to see German lawmakers do more. She called for additional requirements such as an official license. "And there must still be random and unannounced visits to families," she said.

 Becoming an au pair in Germany is often considered a dream opportunity for young individuals looking for cultural immersion, language development and a chance to explore a new country. For some au pairs, however, the experience took an unexpected turn, turning a promising endeavor into a distressing nightmare. In this article, we will delve into the reality that some au pairs in Germany face and shed light on the challenges they face and the importance of adequate support systems. au pair in Germany, dream job, nightmare, challenges, support systems

The charm of being an au-pair in Germany

For adventurous souls, the prospect of being an au pair in Germany can be incredibly tempting. It offers the opportunity to live with a host family, immerse yourself in the local culture and improve your language skills. In addition, the allure of exploring picturesque landscapes, vibrant cities and historical monuments adds to the appeal of the role. au pair in Germany, host family, local culture, language skills, getting to know Germany

When dreams turn into nightmares

While many au pairs have a positive experience, some find themselves faced with unexpected challenges that turn their dream job into a real nightmare. Issues such as mismatched expectations with host families, excessive working hours, insufficient compensation and inadequate living conditions can all contribute to disillusionment. au pair challenges, mismatch of expectations, excessive working hours, disproportionate remuneration, living conditions

The importance of communication and setting expectations

Clear communication and realistic expectation setting between au pairs and host families are essential to ensure a positive experience. When both parties are on the same page in terms of responsibilities, working hours, compensation and living conditions, the likelihood of them encountering problems is greatly reduced. Creating open channels of communication can prevent misunderstandings and help resolve issues quickly. communication, setting expectations, au pair responsibilities, host family communication

Searching for support and solutions

For au pairs who find themselves in difficult situations, finding support is paramount. Various organizations and online communities provide platforms for au pairs to share their experiences, seek advice and find possible solutions. Additionally, knowing their legal rights and the resources available to them allows au pairs to deal with the issues they encounter with confidence. au pair support, online communities, legal rights, au pair resources

Lessons from Nightmares: Enhancing the Au Pair Experience

The challenges faced by some au pairs in Germany underscore the need for continuous improvement of the au pair system. Both host families and au pairs should be educated about their roles, responsibilities and rights. Government agencies and organizations can play a role in ensuring fair treatment, adequate working conditions and proper compensation for au pairs. improving the au pair experience, education for host families and au pairs, fair treatment, working conditions, au pair rights

Although an au pair in Germany holds enormous potential for personal and cultural growth, it is necessary to realize that not all experiences are idyllic. Some au pairs may encounter problems that can turn their dream job into a nightmare. By fostering effective communication, setting clear expectations, and advocating for support and solutions, the au pair experience in Germany can turn into a positive and rewarding journey for all involved.